


Feelings That Can't Be Put To Words

by Tenshikyo



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: All the smexy men, Angst, Drabble Collection, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Ten Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 8,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5433215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenshikyo/pseuds/Tenshikyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are feelings that can't be put to words, but that can be put to actions. </p>
<p>Katekyo Hitman Reborn! drabble collection. </p>
<p>Reader x Various</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nowhere [Tsuna]

**Author's Note:**

> Nowhere - FictionJunction YUUKA

You looked up in slight surprise as you felt your boyfriend press a kiss to your forehead.

“What was that for?” you asked Tsuna before you gave him a playful lick to his nose, making him laugh softly.

“[F/N]… I was wondering… If I were to go away and say I’d come back someday, would you stay here, even if it seems like I won’t return?” he asked as he averted his gaze

A smile appeared on your face as you tilted your head upwards so that you could see more of his face.

“I’d go nowhere without you.”


	2. Inside Your Heart [Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inside Your Heart - FictionJunction YUUKA
> 
> Cringe cringe so cliché!

Tsuna sighed peacefully as he stared up at the sky, the sun sinking slowly with every passing second. His right arm was crossed behind his head while his left arm was sprawled out, your head resting on it as you watched the sky darken as well.

He turned his head so that he could watch you from the corner of his eye and tried not to get caught, but failed anyway when he noticed you glanced at him as well.

Normally he would have looked away and muttered a quick sorry, but this time he kept staring.

“Neh, Tsuna, if you could live somewhere, anywhere, where would that be?” you asked him, a small smile on your face as you looked at him.

Tsuna looked up at the sky as he searched for an answer to your random question. A small blush appeared on his face when he found his answer and looked back down to you, his chocolate-brown eyes searching yours once more.

“I would want to live inside your heart, forever and always.”


	3. I'm Here [Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song's I'm Here by FictionJunction YUUKA!

Tsuna frowned as he watched you. It was to be expected, seeing as the flu was going around right now. But he never expected that it would be so bad.

So here you were, lying under a whole pile of blankets with a towel covering your forehead and eyes, panting heavily.

Tsuna mentally slapped himself at the thought that he could have prevented this if he had acted immediately when you had started to whine about feeling cold and aching all over. He sighed as he kept on watching you, playing with his fingers as if that would make you better.

He looked up as your arm moved, and a moment later, you held your hand up, albeit shakily, as if searching for something. Tsuna understood and reached out for it, his warm hands capturing your cold one.

You mumbled something, but Tsuna heard what you had said and smiled reassuringly at you as you managed to peek at him from under the towel.

“Don’t worry, I’m here.”


	4. Blessing [Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Blessing by FictionJunction Yuuka

It was a blessing that you could share these moments together with the boy you had loved for so long.

It was a blessing that you could see him smile that lovely smile at you as other girls crowded him, some even worth more than you in your opinion.

It was a blessing that you had found someone as loving and caring as he was.

It was a blessing that he had even seen you as you hid shyly at the back of the group the first day at school.

It was a blessing that he had noticed your love for him, even if it had taken him quite a while. You’d wait as long as it’d take, even if it took forever, anyway.

But the blessing you were most thankful of was that he returned that love in the same passionate manner as you did.


	5. A Place Where No One Is [Ryohei]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is A Place Where No One Is by FictionJunction Yuuka

As you walked on, Ryohei watched in confusion as your back became smaller until you were no longer there. Then he realised that you had left him because of his own stupidity.

_When you have realized it  
When there’s just you  
Just go ahead, and tell the truth_

_“Ryohei, I--” you started, but he cut you off._

_“What is it, [F/N]? Are you here to encourage me?”_

_You bit your lip as you looked down. You had always been friends with Ryohei, maybe just a little more, but you had fallen for the extreme guy and wanted to tell him. He just wouldn’t let you._

_“I came to--”_

_“Sorry, [F/N]! The battle’s about to begin!” he yelled before turning around and jumping off._

_Giving up, you turned around and closed the door behind you as you left the room._

_Cut off words won’t  
Return a second time  
Closing yourself in behind a door to  
A different future, you sleep_

“[F/N]! Wait!” Ryohei yelled as he ran after you. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, wondering for how much longer you could run. But he wouldn’t give up, he’d try to catch you and tell you what had been bothering him all this time.

_Something that’s important to you  
Something you’ve lost  
At times it may wear you down  
Yet you keep chasing it_

He loved you, after all. Even if it took him too long to find out. 


	6. Quiet Words [Gokudera]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Quiet Words by FictionJunction YUUKA

You giggled as Gokudera nibbled your earlobe. He gave it a lick before continuing.

“Does it taste good?” you whispered, feeling a warm puff of breath against your ear when Gokudera snorted. You smiled at the fact that you had made him laugh.

“It tastes just like you,” he murmured before biting slightly harder, tugging at it playfully.

“And how do I taste?” you whispered while playing with Gokudera’s silver hair. This time he allowed it. Or he was simply too busy to notice.

“Terrific.”

_One day, we will no_  
Longer be here  
And those quiet words  
Here they will rest 


	7. Together [Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Together by FictionJunction YUUKA

_We’re here together_  
And sometimes we part  
I get sad when we’re apart  
Because we orbit each other like two planets 

You rolled over in your bed, sighing. Once more, you tried to not think about your boyfriend and to just go to sleep, but just like all the other times, you failed and an image of Yamamoto Takeshi filled your head anyway.

With a groan you sat up and escaped your room to get some water from the kitchen. As you filled your glass, you wondered why being away from Yamamoto was such a problem. You had never thought much of being apart for him, because you knew you’d always come together again.

Was it because he was spending every night at that fight thing?

_I’m here alone_  
And I can’t sleep, I want to see you  
My heart has become a bit more beautiful  
But for whose sake? 

With another sigh you sat back down on your bed. You glanced at the picture on your nightstand before crawling under the covers. Staring at the ceiling, you hugged yourself as you imagined that Yamamoto lay beside you.

A smile appeared on your face as you thought of the memories you had shared with the baseball-freak before you had become a couple and your heart started beating a little faster than normal.

_When I can’t sleep, and want to see you right away_  
I embrace you in my dreams  
Today I fall  
In love again 

“What are you doing right now, Yama-kun?” you murmured, feeling yourself drift off to sleep after half an hour of memories.

At the same time, Yamamoto lifted his head to see that the stars shone brightly that night. For a moment, he thought of your smile, and he wondered if you had already fallen asleep.

_We’re here together_  
But my heart hurts  
As long as I’m by your side  
We’ll keep orbiting each other like two planets 


	8. Nostalgia [X]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Nostalgia by FictionJunction YUUKA
> 
> The X stands for random pairing.

You hugged your knees to your chest as you stared out of the window, loneliness gnawing at the edges of your heart. It was raining, which wasn’t surprising since it was autumn, and you had always loved those rainy autumn days.

Had.

Before you knew what it was like to have friends. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly rubbed them away, realizing how weak you had grown after you had found love.

The painful feelings kept bubbling up, and you asked yourself why you had had to move away from Japan with your parents. It wasn’t like they ever came home, so you could have just stayed there with your friends.

As twilight drew near, your tears dried up as you sat in silence. When the silence became unbearable, you softly began to sing to yourself.

_And as my tears dry in silence  
I continue to sing the song of  
Nostalgia_

As you sang, you didn’t want to forget those painful feelings. After all, it was the only thing that connected you to the ones you loved. If you forgot those feelings, it’d mean you were giving up. If you tried to hide them, it’d mean you were denying.

_Please don’t believe_  
In my tears, and sighs  
Because unlike others  
I cherish these fleeting feelings 

In your imagination, as you sang, a shadow loomed over you, but you didn’t turn around to see who it was. Imaginary arms wrapped around you, warmth spreading through your body as you imagined him hugging you, whispering words of comfort into your ear.

He was right. All this would be worth it once you got to see each other again. Once you could go back to the past times.


	9. Shining Desert [Dino]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last song from FictionJunction YUUKA: Shining Desert

If one would have compared you with a landscape, you definitely would’ve been a desert. Your world had consisted of nothing but sand, a desert in the night. 

Until you had moved to where you lived now and had met a certain boy who happened to be the 10th boss of a Mafia family called Vongola.

The other people you had met had become the water in your desert, and flowers had started to grow as if by magic. Everything had changed dramatically when you had met Tsuna’s ‘older brother’ Dino. Despite the difference in age, you had fallen for him almost immediately.

He was your sun and he had changed your world into a shining desert.


	10. Moving on Without You [TYL!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving on Without You – Utada Hikaru

With the heels of your hands pressed into your eyes, you tried to stop the tears, though they didn’t want to listen and kept on flowing. Sobs wracked your body all the while.

You didn’t stop crying when you felt Yamamoto’s hand on your shoulder, giving you a squeeze as if trying to say ‘Everything’ll be all right’.

 _No!_ a voice inside of your head screamed at his unspoken words. _Nothing is going to be all right!_

Gokudera left the two of you alone, knowing that if he’d stay around you any longer that he might give in to temptation and start crying himself. He was a man now, and men had to be strong in times like this.

Yamamoto’s hand didn’t leave your shoulder until your tears had dried up. Even then he hesitated to retreat as he noticed how weak you looked, wondering if you were ever going to get over this.

~~

Exactly six years later, you stand in exactly the same spot as that day, staring down at the grave with the Vongola emblem on it. Everything seems the same, though there is one major difference.

You are alone, and you aren’t crying. The crack in your heart will never be filled again, because you know there isn’t anybody out there like your Tsu-kun.

But you’re fine with that, because you’re finally moving on without him.


	11. Another Chance [Ryohei Sequel]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryohei sequel ‘A Place Where No One Is’
> 
> Another Chance by Utada Hikaru

Ryohei stood still, panting heavily, but his hand had captured your wrist, causing all escape-routes to disappear.

You stared at him, your eyes cold as you felt your anger flare. You had waited for years so that this guy would finally realise your feeling and when you have given up and turned around, he had seen the light and followed you all the way here.

Though somewhere deep inside you felt so glad. Glad that he hadn't given up before trying, that he had chased you. It was what made you forgive him the moment he caught you.

“All right.” You sighed and he lifted his head, confused once again. You smiled at him before pulling him up, pressing your forehead against his and closing your eyes.

“I’ll give you another chance.”


	12. For You [Basil]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For You by Utada Hikaru

You blinked in surprise at the flower that had been all but shoved in your face all of a sudden. Once you took a small step back and saw who it stood on the other side of the flower, you smiled.

Basil stood in front of you, shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously as he looked at you. You found the small blush covering his cheeks absolutely lovely and had to hold yourself back from pinching one of them.

His face lit up when he saw you smile and he relaxed once he realised you had accepted both the red camellia and his love.


	13. Eternally [TYL!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Eternally by Utada Hikaru

It was merely a dream, yet it seemed like a nightmare to you. You stood somewhere, though you didn’t know where. All you knew was that he was with you. He smiled at you and your eyes widened slightly when you noticed he began to disappear. You called out to him, but you couldn’t hear your own voice as you did so.

_Among the noisy landscape,  
Don't disappear yet._

He had gone to negotiate with the Millefiore family, but he still hadn’t returned and neither had his Guardians. He had promised he would come back, he wouldn’t break it. You knew he wouldn’t.

_The promise is next time we meet.  
Can you hear me breath?_

You wouldn’t believe their words when they returned without him. They had expected it, yet they couldn’t prevent it. The cast their eyes down in sadness and shame.

_Even the unsurprising outcome,  
Everyone sometimes will be touched._

When the next night you had the same dream, he didn’t disappear. You felt whole for the first time since he had left. You wanted, needed to stay forever, though you knew you never could.

_I wanna be here eternally,  
I can see you are all I need,  
At least this feeling is eternity._


	14. Play Ball [Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Purei Boru [Play Ball] by Utada Hikaru

You threw the baseball to Yamamoto so that he could throw it back with all his might. Yes, you were playing baseball with Yamamoto. Without the bats, though, just the two of you throwing over. You had tried to catch that damned ball of his for three days already.

It was as if you wanted to prove there was a chance for a relationship between the two of you. You had fallen in love with him; that optimistic smile always on his face just made your heart jump wildly.

_I’m throwing my heart at you_

Yamamoto threw the ball with all his power. He couldn’t hold back, and the ball grazed your cheek before you jumped to the side to avoid a ball to your face.

Bruised already covered you, with here and there even some scratches covered with band-aids. 

Your heart fluttered as Yamamoto’s warm hands touched your skin when he stuck a band-aid to the new scratch, smiling at you. A blush dusted your cheeks as you smiled back at him.

_I’m showing my heart_

Standing ready, you were determined to catch that ball this time. A serious face appeared on Yamamoto’s face – just like it always did when he concentrated on throwing – before he swung his arm and let go of the ball.

It flew towards you at high speed but you didn’t step aside like the other times. Instead you stuck your arm out, supporting your catching-hand with the other. You winced and closed your eyes as something hit your glove and only dared to open your eyes when you heard someone clapping.

Somehow, it seemed as if his smile had become even brighter. As you lifted the ball out of the glove, you realised that this smile was meant for nobody but you.

And it made you feel special.

_I’m stealing your heart_


	15. Addicted to You [Byakuran]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Addicted to You by Utada Hikaru

Byakuran smiled that smile at you. That smile that always warned you to be careful. That smile that made your heart skip a beat in your chest. That smile that made you raise your guard almost automatically. You never knew what the guy was thinking, but you loved him and he seemed to love you, so what the heck.

His smile widened slightly as he saw you lost in thoughts and he bent down. He poked at a marshmallow before picking it up as if it were some breakable object before popping it into his mouth.

“Say, [Y/N]-chan?” he asked, pulling you out of your train of thoughts. You looked at him, not moving more than necessary so that you could continue lounging on the couch you had claimed.

“What are your favourite sweets?” 

You tapped your chin, staring at the ceiling as you did so. Did cookies count as sweets?

Suddenly a devious thought came to your mind and you looked at the Millefiore boss, who looked back at you with a raised brow, and shot him a grin.

“There’s only one thing that I like… No, that I’m addicted to,” you purred, your grin widening slightly. Byakuran cocked his head to the side, managing to look cute as he waited for your answer. You sat up and crawled over to him until you practically sat on his lap. Staring into his eyes, you licked your lips before adding, "You.”


	16. In My Room [Hibari]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In My Room - Utada Hikaru

Yawning, you made your way down the hall in order to find your classroom. You tensed when a certain leader of the Discipline Committee of Prefects came into sight and walked past you, not paying any attention to you.

Your heart gave a little squeeze as you watched him walk away. Trying everything to get his attention, you’d even break the rules. If only he’d look at you, talk to you, even if his words didn’t mean much to him.

_When my eyes are closed,  
Dreams and reality are the same,  
That's why I'm dreaming of you._


	17. Never Let Go [Shamal]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Never Let Go by Utada Hikaru

You frowned as you watched Shamal flirt with yet another woman. Though you had already gotten used to it, for some reason the feeling of hate and jealousy towards the one he was flirting with remained.

He had stolen your heart with a date, and he claimed you had stolen his heart at first sight, but at times like this you doubted it. He would always seem to notice and make it up in one of those unique ways of his.

You were worried that you’d lose him once he met a woman who happened to be better than you. But why were you so worried? It’s not like you wanted an unchanging love.

But as long as he’d come back to you, you’d never let go.


	18. Letters [Colonnello]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before he was an Arcobaleno.

You smiled as you bent down to pick up a letter addressed to you. The very moment you recognised the scribble across the front, you knew who it came from.

Not bothering to find somewhere to sit, you opened it and pulled out a piece of paper that came from a note block, and a photo.

Your smile widened when you read the letter.

You had lived in England all your life, but had met him when you were in Italy on holiday, getting caught in what you later found out to be a problem between Mafia families. You had both managed to fall in love with each other within a week and now you kept contact through letters and rare visits.

Folding the letter after you finished reading it, you walked to your room and opened one of the drawers of your night stand, placing the letter on top of the pile of other letters you had received over the past two years.

Sitting down at your desk, you pulled out a sheet of paper and glanced at the picture of you and Colonnello that he had sent you with his letter. 

After a few seconds, you began to write a reply to the letter you had just received.


	19. You Are Not Alone [TYL!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson

Waking up the next morning, you realised another day had gone by and you were still on your own. 

Getting ready for breakfast, you realised he had never said goodbye. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to leave your world so cold?

You asked yourself if, and how, the love had slipped away.

_"You are not alone,_  
I am here with you,  
Though we're far apart,  
You're always in my heart,  
But you are not alone." 

You jerked up, looking around to see where the voice came from. You could swear it had been his voice, but you couldn’t find him. Was your mind playing tricks on you? How come it had sounded exactly like his voice?

The next night, just before you fell asleep, you heard the same voice and somehow understood it this time. A smile appeared on your face before you fell into a lovely dream.

_"Whisper three words and I'll come runnin',_  
And girl you know that,  
I'll be there,  
I'll be there." 


	20. A Seemingly False I Love You [Byakuran]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hikaru Utada - A Seemingly False I Love You

He smiled at you, and you smiled back.

He opened his mouth, but you already knew what he was going to say.

“I love you.”

You replied with, “I love you too.” Just like always.

He turned around, smiling at you over his shoulder before leaving the room. Only when he was gone did the corners of your mouth go down again. You let yourself fall onto the couch, pondering as you rested your head in your hands.

What would it take to make him stop telling you the false ‘I love you’s?


	21. This Is Love [Basil]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Love - Utada Hikaru

It started with a look, grew to a smile. Became a few words, jumped to a touch. A serious kiss then is a playful peck now. A lot of things changed, came and disappeared. A lot of things were sacrificed, but in the end you had love. And there was nothing better than spending warm hours with the person you loved more than life itself.

You suddenly turned and gave Basil a kiss on the corner of his lips. He looked up in slight surprise, asked you if there was something wrong. You smiled in response, shook your head and squeezed his hand that you held in yours.

_I want to have my freedom stolen by unpredicted love.  
Oh, I knew with one look.  
I'll give you cold words and a warm kiss,  
This is love, this is love._


	22. Beautiful World [Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful World by Utada Hikaru

There he stood, tall and proud, his baseball bat leaning against his shoulder. His cap shadowed his eyes, but you already knew what they looked like.

Warm and brown, like a cup of hot chocolate milk in the middle of winter.

He was breathtaking.

__

Beautiful world,  
I would only look at you unwaveringly.  
Beautiful boy,  
You don't even know how beautiful you are.

He walked past you and you opened your mouth, wanting to greet him. He noticed and turned to look at you. You blushed, stared at the ground and shook your head slightly.

Instead of walking off, he raised his hand and ruffled your hair.

_I just want to see you one more time,  
I can't say what I want to say,  
I don't have any guts,  
But that is just fine._

You could only stare at his back in surprise. 


	23. Simple and Clean [Spanner]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simple and Clean - Utada Hikaru

On first sight, Spanner looked like a normal and simple guy who fell in love with anything mechanical. That was what you had thought when you first saw him, when you had been wandering around the Vongola hideout without knowing what to do. But soon you had learned quite a bit more about him.

_“Oops! Sorry!” you yelped as you quickly bent down to pick up the pile of books you had been carrying around. You hadn’t been able to see the on-coming person, and apparently he hadn’t seen you, resulting in a crash._

_You looked up, seeing Spanner standing up and rubbing the back of his neck, wondering what to do as he looked at all the scattered papers. They were all mixed together, your papers and his, and it might take ages to get them right again._

_You only smiled at him and sat on the floor, pulled a stack of paper towards yourself and started to pluck the ones that didn’t belong there out of it._

_Spanner seemed baffled as he watched you do the work and came to the conclusion you did this kind of stuff all day long. After a few more moments, he mimicked your movements and started to reorganise the papers._

_About five minutes later, Spanner sighed and his shoulders sagged as if he was giving up._

_“What’s wrong?” you asked without stopping. When you didn’t get a response, you glanced at Spanner, fumbling with the sheets, missing a few here and there._

_You got on your hands and knees and crawled over to the engineer, plucking the stack out of his hands and sitting next to him._

_“Look, you do it like this,” you said as you showed him your ‘trick’, not like it was much of a trick to begin with. It was just thinking forward and planning._

_Spanner nodded as he realised that all the pages with dog ears belonged to you._

_And so, the two of you ended up doing this for the next hour, or maybe two hours, or maybe even longer...  
_  
It didn’t really seem like much, but somewhere deep down, a connection was born.


	24. Final Distance [X]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Nostalgia

At last, the day that you could go back to Japan had arrived. For two years you had waited and cried and prayed and wished. And finally, your wish was being granted. You were able to go back home.

_I wanna be with you now,_  
Let’s shorten the distance with the two of us.  
We can still make it on time,  
We can start over,  
We can be as one. 

The trip had been everything but smooth. You had accidentally slept in, which wasn’t a surprise seeing as you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. You had lost your tickets, but had found them in the end. It was a wonder that you were just in time to get on the plane after all that.

_I wanna be with you,_  
Someday even this distance,  
We’ll be able to embrace,  
We can start sooner,  
After all I wanna be with you. 

But the moment you stepped out of the taxi, in front of the house where everyone was waiting, all your troubles disappeared. Tears welled up in your eyes when you noticed that everyone was sitting in Tsuna’s garden, looking up at the sound of footsteps.

He jumped up, yelled your name and wrapped his arms around you as tight as he could. It hurt slightly, but you didn’t care. He was hugging you, and that was all that you had wished for.

The others gathered around the two of you, and while everyone formed a group hug, he pressed his lips to your forehead softly.

“Welcome back,” were the words that made you press your cheek against his chest, and those three famous words he whispered after that were the words that made tears stream down your face in happiness.


	25. Colors [Spanner]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colors by Utada Hikaru.

You giggled as you watched the colours float around you, not realising you shouldn’t be seeing those colours in the first place. Gokudera and Tsuna sat next to you, looking around just as amazed.

Things were getting rough for everyone at HQ, so Gokudera had decided to bring a ‘snack’ with him as he returned from a small mission. He had been desperate to get the Vongola boss to take said ‘snack’ with him and had bumped into you on his way there.

And here you were, hallucinating together with the two younger boys. You’d think you were supposed to take responsibility and punish them for thinking about taking drugs, but you had needed a break too, so…

Suddenly the doors slid open and you could swear the guy standing in the doorway looked familiar…

“[F/N]!” 

Oh, now you remembered. 

“Spanneeer!” you called as you jumped up and skipped over to the love of your life. You ended up tripping over something and crashing into the floor.

So much for trying to be romantic for once.

Spanner helped you up, looking you dead in the eye as he steadied you. “Are you drunk?”

“No waaay!” You giggled before pointing somewhere randomly. “Can you see the colours too?”

Spanner looked around, trying to find any colours, before glaring at the boys who were laughing their asses off, mostly at Gokudera.

“Spanner…” you mumbled, feeling tired all of a sudden. You pressed your face into his chest. “I love you soooo much…” 

And then you fell asleep.

Spanner couldn’t help but smile slightly before carrying you away.


	26. Kiss & Cry [TYL!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss & Cry by Utada Hikaru

“Please keep on smiling like that,” you told him before he left. He didn’t know yet, but you were in love with him. Tears slid down your cheeks as you scolded yourself for not having enough courage to confess.

_Your smile is  
A critical hit to my heart  
I've become so excited, excited, excited_

“Please stop crying,” he murmured as he wiped away your tears. He thought you were crying because he had gotten injured, though that was only half the truth. He didn’t know yet, but you were carrying his child. Tears slid down your cheeks as you scolded yourself for not having enough courage to tell him.

_Come closer to me_  
Don’t hold back  
Even if you get a little hurt,  
Well, its all right, KISS & CRY 

He kissed you passionately, soothing you in an instant. You had finally told him and he was happy about it. You smiled through your tears, tears of happiness, as you praised yourself for gathering enough courage to be the one to tell him something for once. 


	27. Wings [Gokudera]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wings by Utada Hikaru

“Gokudera?” you asked, worried as your silver-haired lover stood there, staring at the ground. Ashamed. 

You took a step towards him, slowly spreading your arms, wanting to wrap them around him, but at the last moment you dropped them. Why couldn’t you even hug the one you loved?

_Motionlessly, staring at your back  
I wonder if I should hold you close_

Five minutes of concern, contemplating and sadness later, you sighed softly. What was going to happen to the two of you if you were afraid of _hugging_ him? You didn’t want to find out.

_Take a chance in the headwind and fly  
Don't be anxious and close before the ending_

Taking the last hesitating step, you wrapped your arms around Gokudera’s waist, surprising him.

“Please don’t fly away,” you whispered.


	28. Prisoner of Love [Mukuro]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prisoner of Love belongs to Utada Hikaru

“[F/N], will you come here for a second?” Mukuro ordered politely, if that was even possible, and you obeyed like a puppy on a leash. When you stood next to his couch, he smiled up at you, stood up and pecked you on your lips. “Let’s have nothing but fun.”

_Feeling blue over desiring the impossible  
Everyone is seeking tranquillity  
You’re struggling, but you’ve had enough  
Now you’re chasing after a shadow of love_

He was killing you on the inside. Maybe he knew, maybe he didn’t. You loved him, but he didn’t love you. You were just his puppet that he used to entertain himself with. His affection for you was fake, and killing you.

_I’m gonna tell you the truth  
I chose an unforeseeable painful path  
and you came to support me  
You’re the only one I can call a friend_

Your own fault, you knew. Despite the unbearable pain, you didn’t regret it, you never would. Even though all the feelings were one-sided, you wouldn’t give up. It gave you a reason to live and that made you happy.

No, you weren’t going to give up living if that meant not being able to be killed and ‘loved’ by Mukuro anymore.


	29. Feelings That Can't Be Put To Words [Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song! By Utada Hikaru~

_Happiness_

Seeing him in the morning, smiling with his friends. He waved at you and your smile brightened as you waved back, a tickling feeling whirling inside of you.

_Sadness_

Noticing the smile you always gave him on his face combined with a blush when he looked at _her_ , though you knew she didn’t return the feelings.

_Being impressed_

Finding out about how he was a very important person; the next boss of the Vongola Famiglia. At first you didn’t want to believe it, but after a while you simply had to.

_Bitter pain_

Watching him get wounded in one of his fights and knowing you couldn't help him no matter what you did. All you could do was clench your fists and hope it’d end soon.

_Even with all the variety I have everyday_

Being trained by Reborn, who claimed it was dangerous for a person so close to a Mafia boss to not be able to protect herself.

_This feeling is a first_

Having lived in a girls’ school and not being allowed to do anything outside the gates when being alone. Computers, phones and all that stuff weren’t allowed.

_It's like the sinking sunset_

Staring at the sky early in the morning, wishing that you were a free person and could do what you wanted seemed like a far-off memory now.

_Feelings I can't put into words  
I want to express them someday_


	30. A.S.A.P [Squallo]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop! Squallo~ (Song still by Utada)

_I always run away when I want to be captured_

Gulp. You reached up to knock on the door. Your hand trembled slightly. You tightened it into a fist and the shaking stopped. Wanting to turn and run, you forced yourself to knock.

_Just for today, I'll forget my games and ring your bell_

You sat on his bed, staring at the floor. What was this? Was it possible to love someone who frightened you?

“Are you scared?” Squallo asked, a smirk on his face as he leaned towards you. The grin masked his sadness at your fear for him. 

You ignored your instincts that screamed at you to get away from him and forced yourself to smile at him.

_Just one more time, believe in me  
I swear that this is my very last lie  
Can you believe me tonight?_

“No, I’m not.” 


	31. One Night Magic [Dino]

Dino took your hand and pulled you towards him so your chests were touching, which made you blush slightly. He didn’t let go of your hand, instead holding it a short distance from your shoulders and placing his other hand on your hip.

You had an idea of where this was going, making you feel uneasy; neither of you could dance, and he knew that.

Dino ignored the fact that you had never learned how to dance. Instead he took a small step forward and nudged your leg with his knee, signalling for you to take the step backwards. This was how you continued until you understood the steps well enough to do them by yourself.

You allowed yourself to look up, noticing Dino’s shining eyes and you couldn’t help but giggle at the tickling feeling that appeared in the pit of your stomach. This broke Dino’s concentration – though it surprised you he had managed to gather it in the first place – and his foot managed to hook itself with yours, causing you to fall over, landing on top of him. 

Normally, you would’ve started laughing, but by falling over you noticed how bright the stars were that night. So the two of you ended up cuddling together and staring at the sky all night, all but forgetting that you had tripped in the first place.

_How about tonight?  
One night magic  
A mysterious social dance with a swan  
It’s out one night magic_


	32. Keep Trying [Shouichi]

“Irie~” you called, skipping through the doors of said man’s… ‘office’. You stopped to look around, noticing that Irie wasn’t anywhere to be seen. 

A small groan made your head snap in the direction of where the sound came from and you saw someone stuck between piles of books, music blaring out of those earphones.

You walked over and sighed. Irie was sleeping restlessly, and so you shook his shoulders, making him jump up and yell apologies.

“Oh, it’s you…” He slumped back down. 

You knew of his true mission because he had trusted you with it. Well, you had actually beat it out of him, but that didn’t matter.

Leaning over, you managed to kiss the man as you bent over him.

“C’mon, Irie~, keep trying!”


	33. Tokyo Nights [TYL!Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unf smexy Yamamoto.

He held you close to him as you sobbed and right then, you felt so weak and fragile, trying to crawl deeper into his embrace to hide yourself from this horrible world only to find that you couldn’t.

You suddenly missed the stars and the moon, but the clouds that floated in the air blocked them. Just like yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before that…

Yamamoto continued to caress your cheek all night as you cried to your heart’s desire, your heart that was currently burning painfully at the loss of one of the most precious person in your life.

_I want to hide  
Like a baby, I honestly feel like hiding a hole in a building.  
The moon--for example--isn't here,  
Just like my mother's warm whisper,  
In the lights of the city._


	34. Wicked Game [Hibari]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original version of the song is by Chris Isaak... But I prefer HIM's version. Ville~ (obvious fangirl is obvious)

_What a wicked game to play  
To make me feel this way_

A snarl left Hibari’s throat as he rolled over in his bed. He scowled at the wall that seemed to mock him, or maybe at someone who wasn’t there at the moment. He had had that dream again – the dream about _you_.

He had always hated you because you were so goddamn _arrogant_ and _proud of yourself_ that it made him want to rip you to pieces.

_What a wicked thing to do  
To let me dream of you_

But he couldn’t, because for some reason, he had a heart, and that heart was very weak when it came to you. Maybe the most important reason why he hated you was because _he_ loved _you_ , but _you_ didn’t love _him_. Even worse was the fact that you had somehow noticed that he loved you, and had declared that you’d never feel the same about him, _in public_.

_What a wicked thing to say  
You never felt this way_

And so, Hibari spent night after night trying to think up painful ways to let death dawn upon you, although he already knew that he’d never be able to make any of them become reality. 


	35. Give Me a Reason [TYL!Ryohei]

When you were younger, you had always asked yourself, _”Why him?”_

Because he was a freak, though a passionate one? Because whenever he tried to be cute or romantic, he ended up looking like an idiot? Because whenever he tried to act cool, it’d somehow end up being cute? Because even though he forgot the important things (birthdays…), he always remembered the insignificant things (the way the right side of your lips twitched whenever you were about to laugh)?

There had been so many answers back then. But now, a few years later, you had finally found the true one.

_Give me a reason to love you  
Actually, I don't need any reasons_


	36. First Love [Gokudera]

You could still feel the bitter taste of tobacco from your last kiss with Gokudera linger in your mouth. Pressing your fingers to your lips you tried to savour it, because the taste always seemed to be strongest on this special day.

You wondered if he was thinking about you too. What was he doing? Who was he with?

Smiling, you told the imaginary Gokudera living inside your mind that he would always be your love, having his own place in your heart forever.

You also told him that you were finally able to sing a new song.


	37. Comet [TYL!Fuuta]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comet - Younha

It was starting to grow dark, but neither of you moved. You just lay there in each other’s arms, staring at the stars in the sky.

“Fuuta, look!” you exclaimed, pointing at a shooting star. After making a quick wish, you smiled at the boy. “I wonder if a comet is the same as a shooting star...”

“It isn't. Shooting stars, or meteors, are seen far more often on Earth than comets,” Fuuta replied. 

You pouted at that, crossing your arms stubbornly. 

“Comet sounds better and it seems more special though...” Grinning shyly, you continued, “Can I become your comet?”

_If I could turn into a comet,  
I would run through the sky and fly.  
No matter what tomorrow is like, these feelings are strong,  
So this comet will never break open._


	38. Deep River [TYL!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw yeah still with the Hikkie songs
> 
> These might be a bit weird because I tried to incorporate the song text into the story. I don't really know what I was thinking back then...

Tsuna pressed his nose into your hair while he caressed the bandage wrapped around your forehead, trying his best not to wake you up. His gaze glided over your body to the various other wounds you had received in their previous battle. He then looked over to the round table in the middle of the room, his gloves resting on top of it. His arms wrapped around your fragile frame tightened slightly as he remembered the words his father had once told him.

_”This sword was not entrusted  
In order for one to know the sound of two swords' striking.”_

And then he asked himself,

_”Whom can one protect with such inconsistency?”_


	39. Heart Station [TYL!Basil]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember writing so many TYL! drabbles. Hm. And this one is pretty lame, too *hides*
> 
> Still Utada Hikaru songs.

Of course it was difficult dating someone from the Mafia, but every moment together was worth it. You could endure the lonely moments as long as you knew there were going to be love-filled ones later on.

After all, you also had the radio station that you and Basil listened to for days on end. It was like a CD filled with your personal love songs, but everyday was a surprise.

You talked to him daily through the phone. “Are you okay?” “I miss you.” “When are you coming back?” But you never said ‘goodbye’ before hanging up, replacing it with a sweet sentence that changed everyday instead.

_There is no meaning to goodbye,  
Because if we were to meet again someday,  
Wouldn’t that be just wonderful?_


	40. Flavor of Life [TYL!Dino]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flavor of Life is by Utada Hikaru

Your eyes shone with excitement as you stared at the small, opened box that contained something that seemed to be staring right back at you. You lifted your gaze from the ring to the man who had given it to you, tears threatening to escape your eyes.

“Oh, Dino…” you managed to say before you practically attacked him with a hug. He wrapped his arms around your waist, smiling brightly at your reaction.

“Does that mean yes?” he asked nervously, and he received a frantic nod from you as you continued to sob into his chest. “I’m so glad…” He smiled in relief.

_A future tender and warmer than a diamond.  
I want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, I want to spend it with you._


	41. A Perfect Day to Say I Love You [Gokudera]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song is by Younha!

Valentine’s Day. The day of love, of couples spending the whole day with each other. Sitting on the couch to watch some films or having a dinner at candle light.

All these things came to mind when hearing ‘Valentine’s Day’. Gokudera, however, did not really belong there.

That morning, on the fourteenth of February, you went to visit Gokudera in the hopes of being blown away by a romantic surprise from your stoic boyfriend. But as he opened the door, you concluded that there wasn’t going to be anything more romantic about this day than usual. You would want to arrange a surprise yourself, but you were afraid of Gokudera’s reaction.

In the evening, just before the sun was about to go down, you received a call from your boyfriend.

“You… you forgot something…” he mumbled and you frowned, wondering if something had happened. He didn’t sound too good. When you told him you would pick it up tomorrow, though you couldn’t remember taking anything with you, it seemed as if he started to panic. And so you went over to his house anyway.

“Gokudera?” you called out worriedly. A weird smell was coming from behind the house and the gate stood slightly open, so you rushed in that direction.

And boy did that guy manage to fulfil your ‘get blown away by a romantic surprise from your stoic boyfriend’-wish.


	42. Pinky Promise [TYY!Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is also by Younha~

“Sorry, sorry!” a small boy yelped as he helped a sobbing you up and asked if you were all right. 

You shook your head and showed the boy your palm which had small scratches decorating it, and he frowned. Then he bent down slightly and kissed the small wounds.

“And now?” he asked, hopeful. You stopped crying and giggled as you nodded your head. 

“I’m [F/N]. What’s your name?” you asked him, still smiling.

“T-Tsuna…” the boy stuttered as he looked away, suddenly shy.

You laughed again and held your hand up, curling your fingers into a fist with only your little finger sticking out.

“Well then, Tsuna, let’s promise that we’ll stay together forever!” You seemed determined in getting your new friend to accept your proposal. 

He stared at your finger for a moment before smiling back at you, curling his little finger around yours in the pinky-promise-lock.

“Pinky promise!”

~Ten Years Later~

"Heey, Tsunaaa!" you yelled, waving your arms about frantically in order to catch the boy's attention. A smile spread across your face as you noticed him turn around.

"Wait for me!" you shouted before sprinting in Tsuna's direction, who could only grin sheepishly at you.

You ended the chase by jumping on top of him as some kind of hug before pulling him along as you continued your walk to school.


	43. Just One Wish [Byakura]

You cried and screamed as you ran through the empty streets of the city, angry and sad at the same time, though all emotions directed towards the same person. As you continued to sob, you thought of every swearword you knew and mentally threw them all at the man you loved. Damn that marshmallow-addicted asshole who had used you for his own selfish ass!

Looking up at the night sky, you hoped you would get to see a shooting star. You had just one small wish; you wanted this to be your very last love.


	44. Sharing an Umbrella [Yamamoto]

“Bugger...” you muttered as you stood in the door opening leading towards the playground in front of the school building. It was pouring; a few seconds would be enough to get you drenched through and through.

“Forgot your umbrella?” Tsuna asked as he came walking up towards you, getting ready to run all the way home. 

You nodded and noticed that he didn’t have one either. 

As if sensing your question, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d get wet either way.” And with that he left.

Not too much later, Yamamoto arrived and started preparing his umbrella to go out. You greeted him, trying your best not to blush when he smiled at you. 

“Forgot your umbrella?” he asked you just like Tsuna had a minute ago. “Wanna share mine?” 

You smiled back at him, contemplating the offer for a moment before saying, “Sure, thanks.”

So the two of you went out into the cold, walking shoulder-to-shoulder. You could feel your body temperature rise at the contact and seconds later, you stopped walking, Yamamoto slowing down too with a raised brow.

Before he could say a word, you stood on the tips of your toes to close the distance between the two of you, trying to gauge the boy's reaction as you did so. Even before you could touch him, he pulled you close to him with one arm, pressing his lips to yours. 

That umbrella of yours was going to have to stay in its corner for a little while longer…


	45. My Heart is Yours [Dino]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song is Norway's song of the Eurovision a few years back.

Because of what he was, trips to faraway places weren’t a surprise. Despite being alone more often than not, you never felt lonely, for he was like the sunset behind the mountains. Even though he wasn’t there, you could feel him anyway.

One night, Dino had confronted you and wanted to know your true feelings about his absence. You had told him how he was somehow with you all the time. When he had confessed that he missed you too, you replied by telling him that your heart was in his possession; that you were never going to leave him.

The time after that when you reunited, he had told you that he was the moonlight, watching you at night.


	46. Playing with Fire [Gokudera]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Romania's song~

Sitting on the couch, you were about to take a sip of your coke when your _cute, little, dead_ boyfriend came marching into the room and dropped himself on the couch next to you. Your coke ended up everywhere, except for where it was supposed to go.

“Hey, look at what you did!” you yelled at him, but he barely even raised his head. 

“Che, not my fault that you’re not careful enough.”

You chucked your now-empty cup at his head, running off before he could get his revenge.

He cursed, jumped up, intent on getting revenge. As he ran after you, he yelled, “Get back here!”

You giggled, adrenaline rushing through you as you sprinted up the stairs, taking a sharp turn to the right and running into your room. You could hear Gokudera stumbling up the stairs, almost running into your door that you closed in his face.

He kicked it open only to take a step back when you jumped at him, wrapping your arms around his neck while making cat sounds. You had been with him long enough to find out his weaknesses, after all.

Growling in frustration, Gokudera dug his fingers into your hips, kissing your lips so hard that it almost hurt. He pushed you back into your room, closing the door behind him with his foot.


	47. Life Looks Better in Spring [TYL!Yamamoto]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyprus's song~

You couldn’t remember how long you had been apart. All you could remember was the pain you had endured during his absence.

As you walked through the town you had left years ago, you wondered if your relationship was still the same, despite how the two of you had changed.

Standing at the place where you had separated, you wondered when it had gotten so cold. Or maybe your fears were making you feel as if the temperatures had dropped slightly.

You turned around again and walked back into the crowd, hoping to see him. Hoping that he’d spot you, take your hand and kiss you, say your name out loud.

And for the first time in ages, you felt really lucky when you saw his wild, black hair, his confused brown eyes looking at you. A smile lit up your face and he made his way towards you, his face telling you he couldn’t believe his eyes.

You pressed your finger against the scar on his chin with a frown before looking back into his eyes. “Tell me about your stories…” 

He came closer, smiled and said, “I missed you too.” 

And then he kissed you.


	48. Sattelite [Tsuna]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Germany's song!

Today was special. Tsuna had finally asked you out on a date. Okay, technically he was forced to by his friends, but it was the date that counted. And the boy this date was with.

You did your hair and painted your toenails, all just for today. Just for Tsuna… You had saved the best for him.

While trying to ignore the itch in your behind from the new underwear you had bought just for today – you always went overboard when it came to these things – you made your way to the café where you were going to meet your date.

You saw him and his shy smile and remembered why you had fallen in love with him in the first place. From that day on, you hadn’t been able to survive a minute without his love.


	49. In a Moment Like This [Ryohei]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Denmark!
> 
> Ugh another weird lyric-incorporated-in-dialogue one. Please forgive me for these atrocities.

Ryohei sighed as he stared at the blank paper in front of him. He had been trying to finish his homework for hours and yet he hadn’t been able to write a single word. Of course, the broken heart doodled in the corner of the page didn’t count as a word.

With a sigh, you closed your schoolbook. Looking around, you realized you didn’t have any homework left to do, your mind free to think what it wanted to, which was what you had been trying to avoid ever since you and Ryohei had parted ways.

Not knowing what to do or where to go, he left the house and let his legs lead the way. Though he didn’t know what his mind wanted, there was no way he wouldn’t be able to recognize what his heart wanted.

You sat down on a bench in the park just outside your house. Stretching your limbs, you looked up at the sky and tried to find figures in the clouds. Somehow, your eyes only managed to notice the weird-looking boxing gloves, a heart and a kangaroo of some sort. 

Someone came to sit next to you, but you didn’t look to see who it was. Somehow, you already knew.

“Say you’ll love and never leave me.” The voice of the person sitting next to you sounded like a lullaby to you. You smiled, threw a curse at Ryohei as he wrapped his arms around you.

“My heart will forever be true.”


	50. Drip Drop [TYL!Hibari]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Azerbaijan's song.

Something was wrong. Something had happened, but you didn’t know what. He wouldn’t tell you, and it broke your heart. Your conversations became less frequent, less deep. Until they became mere greetings as you met each other in the halls.

“Where have you been?” you asked Hibari one night. He was late, even later than the new ‘late’ you had grown accustomed to. Not surprisingly, he ignored you and was about to leave, but he stopped when he heard a sob leave your throat.

“What happened to you? Can’t I love and trust you forever?” You didn’t want this to end here, but what could you do? He wasn’t going to listen to you anyway.

Or so you thought.

He proved you wrong, his hands pressing against your cheeks from behind. You could feel his breath against the back of your neck as he whispered something before leaving again.

“That’s all up to you.”


End file.
